Life

I'm back! I missed blogging.

Remember my post about life balances in March? Recently I have felt that my life balance between family, friends, work and school had been out of whack. About a month ago, I feeling VERY stressed and sad that I wasn't spending as much time as I'd like with my boys. I felt like I was neglecting them and not being the mother I should/want to be. I talked to my teacher and she said I could postpone a course to the Fall but I would still finish a few more courses before June 11th. I was scared of what other people would think of me as a failure. I was also scared that I would regret it if I quit the program. So, I decided to keep on going and keep on trying.

In the last 1-2 months I have broken down so upset twice. It was almost like everything was overwhelming and that I couldn't keep things in control. Connor has missed 3 weeks worth of daycare in the last couple of months due to illness on both sides. Life in general has been keeping me very busy. Appointments for the family, house building, tending to the boys, part-time work (only 1 day a week), and friends.

In the last few days, I have come to a realization that my priorities have changed. I WANT to be there for my boys. I WANT to spend more time with my friends. I WANT to focus on my work. I WANT to have a LIFE. I realized that it's extremely difficult to do that during the early years of the boys. I realized that I can wait to finish the program at a later date. I would like to think that I didn't fail but rather that I was strong enough to let it go to focus on more important things.


Happiness is the most important thing to me. I believe that it's important for myself and the family to keep an eye on our happiness. As long as I am happy with being able to be a Mother and work part-time I think I will be fine. There will always be changes and we will adapt to the changes to make sure we're happy. I may want to finish my program and I will do that when I feel right and ready. I might even do 1 course at a time. I still have to talk to my teachers so we'll see what they have to say.

I think I am a little disappointed but mostly because I had the expectation that I would complete the program in June. Although, I feel like there has been a HUGE weight off my shoulders and I feel a lot more relaxed. I also feel more excited about being more of a Mom to my boys and a wife to my husband. Few hours of work per week is for myself and I hope that will be enough :) I'm sure it will be. We'll find out and if it isn't we'll do something about it :) I'm very grateful to have a husband who lets me do whatever needs to be done to keep everything balanced in life.

So, yeah that's the story. I should be back to blogging again!!